I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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