At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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