I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize