"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Randomize
