Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
