Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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