I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Success! We fucked roommates!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
