is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
