I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
