Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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