paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
