no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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