you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize