now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
