I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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