these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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