I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
