Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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