Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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