My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I could fuck to npr.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
