wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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