dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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