you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
