White coat. Heels.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
