i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
