She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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