Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
