Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
