No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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