awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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