I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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