I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
