I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
