I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
