how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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