He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
