I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I hate all girls vehemently.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
