I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
