I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
