I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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