I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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