I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
