guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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