I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
