i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
