I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
