420 ftw
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize