Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
did i just pee glitter
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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