i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
