we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
