Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
