She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
