Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
