Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
