i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
