So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
