I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
