Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize