i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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