Whod you bang
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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