I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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