I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
