Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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