The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
