How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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