Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
