After last night, I could never be a politician.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
