Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
