If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
