you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize