All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
