My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
True strength comes from lack of pants
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
