operation harelip BJ is a go
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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