Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
two words...techno handjob
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
