Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
